Monty Python Text Documents

                        Philosophers song

               Immanual Kant was a real pissant
                 Who was very rarely stable
               Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
                 Who could think you under the table

               David Hume could out consume
                 Schopenhauer and Hegel
               And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
                 Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel

                There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya
                  'Bout the raising of the wrist
               Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed

               John Stuart Mill, of his own free will
                 On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill
               Plato they say, could stick it away
                Half a crate of whiskey every day

               Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottl
                 Hobbes was fond of his dram
               And Rene' Descartes was a drunken fart
                "I drink, therefore I am"

                Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed
                  A lovely little thinker
                But a bugger when he's pissed

sketches(txt)

• The Cheeseshop
• Decomposing Composers
• The Pet Shop
• A WITCH!

songs(txt)

• All Things Dull and Ugly
• Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
• Theme to th Life of Brian
• Camelot
• Every Sperm is Sacred
• The Galaxy song
• I Like Traffic Lights
• I'm So Worried
• I'm the Urban Spaceman
• I've Got Two Legs
• The Lumberjack Song
• The Money Song
• The Philosophers Song
• The Rhubarb Tart song
• Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam
• St. Victor song

scripts(long)

• The Original Screenplay to the Holy Grail
• The Actual Script to The Holy Grail
• The Script to the Life of Brian
• The Script to The Meaning of Life

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